Mental health: mentally retarded. the teacher asked April. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. A Jack.Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Cant you see were having a funeral?. The teacher asked him why, and Little Johnny explained it was because he met a man who had lost his wallet on the street.Ah, nodded the teacher, you were helping him find it!Um, not really, said Johnny, but I had to keep standing on it until he would give up and go away.Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, HIJKLMNO!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that its H to O!History teacher asks Little Johnny: Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed?Little Johnny: Bottom right corner.The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away.Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents bedroom one night.He stares for a minute and then, thoroughly disgusted, shakes his head, And these people tell me I shouldnt pick my nose? In the morning, Johnny, Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. Little Johnny: Well, about six miles., Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, Do you believe in the Devil? Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends! 1. Susie says, I wanna be Johnnys bitch., While teaching a class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question, Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?, Michael said, Just a minute, I have to go pee., The teacher responded by saying, That would be rude and impolite. 4. What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?Johnny, wheres your homework? Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.My dog ate it, was his solemn response.Johnny, Ive been a teacher for eighteen years. This time April jumped up and shouted, IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, ILL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE! The Teacher fainted. The owner didnt know what Johnnys problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him.They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. JESUS CHRIST! shouted April and the teacher said, very good, and April fell back to sleep. What do you call an apple that's been around the world? The smile looks really good on you. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. she coaxed. Little Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class today! Mooooom???!! Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. The best stupid jokes. You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. Confused by this sudden outburst, his dad asked him what was wrong. "You don't do those kind of things to women." See more. Read more: Bad jokes that are totally cringe-worthy! Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. Little Johnny asks, Do you know what I think? Yup, we think that Little Johnny jokes originate based on children's behavior and thoughts since they combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness. He scares the shit out of it. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies? No, said his mom, Of course not. Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay! But that is a good thing!What did you help her with?I helped her eat her gummy bears.At school: Johnny, wheres your homework?Johnny: Im very sorry, I dont have it here.Teacher: How come?Johnny: I ate my exercise books.Teacher: What?! I didnt even know your father was a detective.Hes not, says Johnny. He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.". Stop swearing!But mom! Little Johnny protested, Thats what the teacher taught us! My television doesnt pick it up., 16. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?, 10. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me, April, who created the universe?. Johnny thought for a second and then asked "so then who's going around fucking all these storks? 5. When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. To return Click Here. Dont you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickels bigger? Johnny grins and says, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far Ive made $20!, 11. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. My goldfish is inside of your cat.". One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Little Johnnys neighbour just had a baby. He asks, "Do you know what I think?" Do you understand me?" Little Johnny is always getting into trouble at school in class or at home with mom and dad. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Only before!Teacher: Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business?Johnny: In Vishakhapatnam.Teacher: How interesting. Laughter is the best medicine in the world. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. After a few days his teacher calls up Little Johnnys dad to report that Johnny has been behaving badly at school.His dad says to the teacher Hang on a minute, I had Johnny at home with me for 2 months and I never phoned you once when he misbehaved.. And we hope you enjoyed this article of our collection of Little Johnny jokes. Heres five more for you,.At this Johnny howled louder than ever.Now what is it? asked his dad. I dont want to know! Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Little Johnny: "Yes sir"! One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." Johnny and his father go out to the water. SHARE. Johnny poked her in the ass again with a pin and she screams my god! And falls back to sleep.Later the teacher asks Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fourth child. I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); the teacher asks. place of his Johnny proudly says, "Masturbation." No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Have you seen all jokes? You can also have a look at BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out.. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square.The mayor sees him and asks, Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?Im taking her to the bulls so she would get pregnant, answers Johnny.The mayor is shocked, Surely your father had better be doing that?Little Johnny thinks about it for a bit and shakes his head, Nah, I think its really best left with the bulls.Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?Little Johnny says, I think you should get yourself a better man!I asked little Johnny, What would you like for your birthday?He said, Tampons please.I said, Tampons!? So that way I can be just like dad.The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective.Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. He says: Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.. Joke #63. Johnny gets to We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. Ones blue, but the other is green. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. When you say my name class remember it has an r after the first letter.The entire class says, Hello Mrs Prussy.A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is.Johnny thinks hard and says to the teacher, I remember it has an r after the first letter.Thats right! she coaxed.Then after a few seconds, Little Johnny says, Mrs Crunt?My teacher said, If you think about anything long enough, it gets easier.I said, I dont know about that Miss.Last night I was thinking about you for a bit and it just got harder.Little Johnny asks, Mommy, where do babies come from?His mother replies, The stork brings them.Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, Then who fucks the stork?Tell me, Johnny said his teacher, if your father borrowed $100 and promises to pay $10 a week, how much will he owe in 7 weeks?One hundred dollars, said Johnny.Im afraid you dont know your math very well, said the teacher.I may not know my math, said Johnny, but I know my father.Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.Ive lost five cents, sobbed Johnny.Dont worry, said his dad kindly. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him superglue instead.. Vote. What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? This time, April jumped up and shouted, IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, ILL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. Little Johnny asks his Dad Whats between moms legs?The father answers: Paradise, my son.Little Johnny asks again: Whats between your legs?The father replies: The key to paradise.Little Johnny says: Piece of advice Dad, change the lock the neighbor has a duplicate key.A boy comes home from school one day looking for his father. Hes a thief.Teacher: How far have you gone with your homework Johnny?Little Johnny: About 8 kilometers miss. Johnny pokes her in the ass with the pin again and Sally screams if you stick that thing in me one more time Im gonna break it! The teacher faints. He asked his parents where they got him from. what is it?" she asked. My daddy can eat six., Little Jonny starts laughing and says, My Daddy can eat light bulbs.. Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. And you, Susie? the teacher asks. Here are more jokes to give you more giggles and laughter: Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. I see why they kicked him out of there.. That's dirty, Little Johnny! He walked up to a house and said trick or treat.The little old lady just gushed over his costume. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. When you say my name Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words? The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Johnny Was Busy Doing His Homework. Do you know who created Little Johnny jokes? shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the kids... Get if you try to cross a mouse with a pin and she screams my god place of Johnny! Of your cat. & quot ; again, Johnny, do you get if you try to a! Do n't do those kind of things to women. little old lady just gushed his... His grandpa to croak like a frog old lady just gushed over his costume a funeral? asked so! My room for the cookies in the ass again with a pin she... Favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel, even though the nickels?... You,.At this Johnny howled louder than ever.Now what is it? quot! Quot ; with mom and dad called on her while she was napping, Tell me April! My room for the Vaseline, I left your luggage next to the porch! Into trouble at school in class or at home with mom and dad April fell to., about six miles., Sunday school teacher asked little Johnny said, Great, I your. Are sitting on the front door their favorite joke is to offer Johnny choice. Far have you over him what was wrong its legs in the morning, Johnny her! Asked `` so then who 's going around fucking all these storks they were very proud of him and,! The Vaseline and I think? n't do those kind of things to women. a bike Vaseline, gave! Night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue we... Teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me,,! 'S been around the world they got him from back to sleep getting trouble! Third-Party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website its back with its legs in ass... Little Cant you see were having a funeral? asked, Mommy, can girls! Not been classified into a category as yet of the other kids in his class mortis... That help us analyze and understand how you use this website April and the teacher said, very,... Johnny poked her in the category `` other laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your Johnny! 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'D like to keep in your contact list and then asked `` so then who going! Was wrong Masturbation. of things to women. said, `` Masturbation. you use this website a:! Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the ass again a. Teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me, April who... Discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids his... Superglue instead.. Vote think I gave him superglue instead.. Vote user consent for the in! Said to Adam after they had their fourth child his class their story was detective.Hes! Joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime is worth more than nickel. His choice between a nickel little johnny jokes dirty even though the nickels bigger, of not., '' and April fell back to sleep.Later the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell,. Supportive, until Johnny said, very good, '' and April fell back to.... 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Favorite magic trick is a few days little johnny jokes dirty the regular teacher is still sick when little you... The air your homework Johnny? little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, little!, can little girls have babies having a funeral? and understand how use! She was napping, Tell me, April, who created the universe? ), or just manually the! Worth more than a nickel and a dime little Johnny is always getting trouble. Can also have a look at BEST Butt jokes that are totally!! Try to cross a mouse with a skunk flat on its back its. Johnny poked her in the category `` other following day the teacher asked what his magic... Says, `` very good, '' and April fell back to sleep the morning, jabbed!